Thursday, October 31, 2013

My Biggest (irrational) Fear

Okay, here it is, my Halloween inspired confession. My biggest fear, or rather my biggest irrational fear.

I am honestly quite scared of this, even though I 100% realize that it is just simply never going to happen to me. Not ever, no way, guaranteed.

That's because I am afraid of being lost in space.

Yeah, that's right, lost in space. But really, imagine it, you are all suited up for your space walk and somehow you get disconnected from the spaceship. And you are just floating! Without control of where you are going! And with no hope of being rescued! Cuz, well, you are in space!

Holy cow, isn't that just terrifying?

Annnnnd, you have to end your own life, which means you have to chose how to do it (although I would assume that my extensive astronaut training would train me the best way to do this). Honestly, I am shuddering just thinking about the lost, out of control, hopeless feeling.

Anyhoo, that's my secret oh so irrational fear. I have had to admit it a little more than usual lately, especially with this movie out now.

What's your irrational fear? Any really silly fears that you can admit on Halloween?

Here are some real astronauts, doing their real astronaut thing.

An astronaut mom.

An astronaut who went blind temporarily in space (apparently tears don't fall in space).

Bowie in space.

Sunrise in space (astronauts see 16 a day!).

Views of the earth.


Sunday, October 27, 2013

Resolution Sunday: Once a logger....

This weekend was homecoming at our alma mater, the University of Puget Sound. And we were in town to go! We went, met up with some friends and my cousin who is a current student, and got to go to the football game (d3 football!)

I am so grateful that we went there, to a small(ish) liberal arts school in T-town. It really prepared us both, and we may have had a fun time here and there as well. We hadn't been back in five years, and there are two new impressive buildings which (almost) made me want to go back through it all again.

I am excited to be back in the area so that we can do more alumni gatherings and involvement.

Once a logger, always a logger!

Friday, October 25, 2013

Our High School Selves

This week I gave a couple of presentations in a high school nearby and had the opportunity to walk through the halls at passing time and at the end of the day. I filed out with all these high school kids, chuckling under my breath the whole way, as so many familiar scenes played out in front of me. Awkward boys play fighting with the girls they liked, brooding kids with the weight of the world visibly resting on their shoulders just above their overweight backpacks, masses of girls smashed together conspiring in code about boys and cheap jeans and Friday night plans.

I recently was driving with a friend and passed a lone teenage guy at a bus stop. He was looking off into the distance wearing his emotions on his sleeve, and we joked about how he was probably pondering how to ask a girl to the dance, or perhaps he was moody because his parents just didn't understand, or was heartbroken because that girl had just did a number to his heart and the world was surely going to come crashing, crashing down all around.

Oh man, we laughed, remember when the world would come crashing down one minute and the next life was teaming with opportunity, or love, or excitement? The highs man, the highs. But oh wow, the lows.

Watching those kids in the hallway yesterday I stood for a minute and let them push past me as a stream of laughter and hormones, they never seemed to care that I was there. I thought mostly of Marty and myself, stopped dead in my tracks by the fact that we had started here, here in a world that is so different from where we are now. How did we make it from those high school halls to this small apartment - in a blink of an eye, in a drawn out decade of adult choices and squabbles and spaghetti dinners and fake-it-til-you-make-it.

I asked Marty this as we were brushing our teeth last night, getting ready for bed in our little duplex apartment that our high school selves pictured as a fairy tale dream where we could wear our pajamas all day, wake up next to each other, and never have to be back at home for curfew. We dreamed this place but left out the student loans, the bills, the hard work of more than a decade of growing up together and apart.

How did we get from there to here? Isn't that just unbelievable? How did we make it?

Marty with a certain smile says its just because we are stubborn. But then his smile broadens a bit and he adds: Stubborn and incredibly lucky.

After our teeth were brushed and our nightly chores done, we started laughing about something I can't even remember. We sit together, squished on the top of the carpeted stairs. And we push ourselves, giggling like our high school selves, down the flight of stairs bumping on our backsides. When we reach the bottom, I say that was the first time we had ever done that together, and even though its just a silly, trivial, late night lets-pretend-we're-kids thing it feels like a big-new-adventure bringing in all the big-new-adventures in our next decade.

The next decade of being young, stubborn, and so so so lucky.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Resolution Sunday: Sunday night dinner!

For the last five years, in North Carolina, I have been aching to have my nearest and dearest living far away over for dinner. I love hosting and cooking for a crowd, or just one guest, and I loved having people over in North Carolina, even to our small cramped apartment where all I could offer was an extra helping of spaghetti and a space on the floor.

Well, Sunday we had nine people (nine!) in our little apartment here in Seattle. Our chairs included an ottoman, an office chair, and a exercise ball. We are hoping to have one of these a month with our friends and I am so grateful that we know all these awesome people here in the area. My mom always taught me not to be afraid to 'mix friends', so we are inviting people from all areas of our life. Good thing we are only friends with awesome people. 

(I made these enchiladas and this mexican chocolate cake. Both turned out delish. Highly recommend.)

Look how squoooshed we are!